Sermon for January 29, 2006

The Faith Full Family: The Idol of Unforgiveness
Matthew 6:14-15

Introduction: Sometimes idols can be quite large as we see in this picture. But the idols Israel carried through the wilderness were small, private, and possibly hidden. Hidden, forgotten things can be deadly.

Some years ago an environmental tragedy began to rise in the public awareness. Years earlier a canal was dug but never completed and it became a dumpsite for toxic waste. The dump was not properly maintained but was covered with soil and then sold to the city of Niagara Falls, NY for $1. It was then developed into a working class housing community. Some years later the toxic waste leached through the soil and began to enter homes, backyards and school playgrounds. There were birth defects and cancer discovered way to frequently in the small population. This place was called Love Canal and is infamous as an environmental tragedy. Sometimes what you don’t see can be quite deadly.

I. Toxic Unforgiveness
I don’t think any of us would choose to live in a toxic environment like the Love Canal. Yet sometimes things get buried in our lives that years later begin to deform our spirits and poison our lives. One of the most toxic things buried in people’s lives is unforgiveness. Unforgiveness comes from things that shouldn’t happen. I know we love our families and yet things happen in families, terrible things sometimes, things that lead to anger, resentment, jealousy and envy. The actions and words that arise out of this lead to things that are difficult to forgive.
We don’t have to look far in scripture to see these things happening. The problems that developed between brothers, Esau and Jacob, was a matter of one brother cheating the other out of what was rightfully his. Even though an uneasy peace came to exist between them the rivalry led to continued conflict between their descendants. Or look at the conflict and abuse that arose out of the rivalry between Joseph and his eleven brothers that led them to fake his death and sell him into slavery. Almost every family in scripture exhibited actions that caused hard feelings between family members.

As toxic as these sinful actions and attitudes are it is often unforgiveness that is the carrier virus that infects the next generation. The Hebrew writer describes it, “See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many,” (Hebrews 12:15). Unforgiveness seems to be such a little thing, a human thing but as with all sin it leads to death both spiritually and in relationships with others.

These events become little idols to those who hold them, precious and deadly. We see it frequently in marriages because, after all, who has the power to wound us more than those we love the most? Husbands wound wives and wives wound husbands. Parents wound their children and children parents. Brothers, sisters, in-laws and outlaws they all can do things, say things that are difficult to forgive. All of this is only on a personal level. Unforgiveness and revenge drive so many of the conflicts in our world whether it is Ireland, the Middle East or Africa. We look at these things and wonder where it will all end.

II. The Possibility of Forgiveness
It was William Blake who said, “It is easier to forgive an enemy than it is a friend,” or we might add family member. One parable Jesus told helps us see this. It is the parable of the Prodigal Son. The story is familiar so we don’t need to look at the details except at the end. The father forgives the wayward son, almost too easily. It is the older brother who struggles with his father’s decision and actions. How could he just accept this son back with no cost or demands? How could he forgive? The anger and bitterness of the older brother keeps him from welcoming his brother, from enjoying the blessing of his father.

We have all heard the little proverb, “To err is human, forgive divine.” That may be what is at work in this parable. Forgiveness takes strength; possibly divine strength, for a person to forgive. The father forgives out of the depth of love for the younger son. The older brother wants justice. He wants to see the younger son cursed, not blessed.

This is the problem we face when we are confronted with those who wrong us or wrong those we love. How can we allow a person who violated us, violated the laws of God to profit from their actions and not pay any price? When we lay aside the command to forgive we enter into the land of vendetta and vengeance, a land where people must pay for their sins. Of course we must pay for our sins in such a land.

It is amazing how much Jesus and the New Testament discuss forgiveness and in such uncompromising language.

“But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Matt 6:15

"This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart." Matt 18:35

“Because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!” James 2:13

I don’t know about you but verses like this scare me. In many ways forgiveness is the bottom line for Christian behavior. There doesn’t seem to be much wiggle room here. Forgive if you want to be forgiven. “Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Col 3:13) is what Paul commands Christians.

The words of Joshua seem appropriate here, “Throw away the gods your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD,” Josh 24:14. If we see those grudges, those unforgiven offenses, those terrible wrongs we have suffered as idols big and small then we may realize they need to be thrown out in order to serve God. This is tough. Some of those idols we have held for a long time. Sometimes we define our lives and ourselves by those sins done against us. We hold our violators in the prison of our thoughts and minds. Forgiveness calls on us to open the doors and let them go. If we do we will discover that the person in prison was us.

We have not talked about the process of forgiveness and the steps that need to be taken to make forgiveness a reality. But the process begins with a decision to throw out the idol. The place to begin the process is right where we live, at home. Husbands and wives, parents and children, brothers and sisters, these are all people where we live and the people who most often need our forgiveness. The great thing for us as Christians is that we have access to God’s love, a love that helps us to forgive. It may be in this area where we can become more like God’s character than any other. As John wrote, “We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother,” 1 John 4:19-21.

If we love we will forgive.


Livonia Church of Christ: January 29, 2006